sometimes i giggle to myself when i learn that people are so eager to start "the rest of their life"...you know, the quintessential career and family, the "American dream" if you will. people try to figure out what they want to do and then put pressure on themselves to get their degree in as little time as possible so that they can get started on their "real life" already! now, i have to admit, i was the same way. eager to pick my major and my school and start a career all the while falling hopelessly in love with the man of my dreams so that we could get married and have lots of beautiful children! well, i still want that, to some extent, but i'm not so picky about when it happens. because what i have realized is that getting to that point is part of life. i don't want to rush through a stage in my life and consume myself with thoughts of the future when there is so much that i could be doing in the here and now. there are some things in life that can really only be experienced in my stage of life. i have a sense of freedom greater than most people because i have allowed myself to think outside of that bubble. i have had the opportunity to travel and meet people and do things in the spur of the moment that i might not have allowed myself to do if i had a perfect plan set up. i wouldn't trade any of those experiences for anything! i don't think it is a bad thing to plan ahead, in fact i am notorious for doing it! i just like to allow myself a certain amount of freedom so that i can enjoy life now and so i will appreciate things as they come. i am in no hurry to do any specific thing, i just want to be happy. sure i stress out about my future every once in a while, but ultimately, i know that things will work out, maybe not in the exact way that i anticipated, but what fun would life be if there weren't surprises every now and then?
sometimes i get down on myself for my "position" in life. living paycheck to paycheck and not knowing what to do next. but, i don't think it's so bad. i am still young, and there are a lot of opportunities that i can still take. as long as i don't subscribe to that "rest of my life" ideology, i can find satisfaction in knowing that i can do just about anything and not have to worry about how it will affect my "plans". and let me tell you, that is a good feeling! i do want to start narrowing things down as for what to "do with my life", but i think i still have much to experience before i narrow it down to one thing. as long as i am open to all possibilities, i think everything will go just fine.
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